Scribble Scribble

Caught in between tides of fate

2010-02-05T13:18:00.003+08:00

Nah. I don't really understand it myself either, even though I'm caught in the middle of it and can feel it all.

When it comes to times like this where I can't even find words to describe how it is, probably that's why I am back in here putting up what I felt as an ugly scribble.

Well, guess there's really nothing much that I can materialize into words. Back to more stuff to deal with.

New year, old dust

2010-01-04T02:41:00.004+08:00

Well yeah, at this rate this blog is going to end up like Mr. Paws up there. But not like I'm going to let this place die out. I'm just... out of words, at times.

I have tons of excuses for my laziness, but I can't blame my laziness entirely. You see, I am very *motivated* to rant in here whenever poop hits the fan. But the poop was too big for me to deal with, along with my PC going down and along with some very grave news.

And also today's post is somewhat an exception. I'm not posting because I had something to rant about. Take it like something of a reflection for myself.

2009 was not the best year for me. Things happened, had a lot of times where I really screwed up, and this time the poop is so big that I couldn't bear to do anything to let my frustration out, not even a word that I could type to express my feelings.

I don't know anymore. Now deep inside me I really wished that I could meet my other half who can truly share my feelings. But I don't know who I can confess to, because I can't exactly say I had it hard when I hadn't been doing much either.

Meh. Screw it. I don't see much hope in this new year of a 2010 anyway, since it's another year into my life, another year's worth of void. Probably another year of lowering my head and moving ahead in the stormy night.

Blood Spills Again

2009-05-23T05:08:00.005+08:00

Been a while since I posted in here. Just scribbled something out of random.

Hmm, some say that one's sense of art can also be the reflection of his heart. But right now, what I MSPainted up there is something that I can't understand myself. I mean, I don't really understand what I'm thinking at that moment I was drawing that. Perhaps I might see something if I write here a little longer into the night.

Hmm. Loads have happened since I last posted. Good things, bad things, stupid things, happy things. Probably for all those to happen, somehow in the way I got lost again. And probably I'm just too oblivious to see what's coming in front, yet I'm anxious about it too. I had this sense that it will not bode well for me, thus probably why I made the picture.

That, or I really don't know. Things are going around me fast, and I had been trying my best to look forward on what to do, and how to get off this hellish pit I'm stuck in. Probably I'm afraid of what I don't know what I fear.

Ah well, it makes less and less sense as I write on. Maybe I should go to sleep and forgot that this moment never happened. Serves no purpose for me to worry about something that I could not see.

Da-Pian

2009-05-04T21:25:00.003+08:00

One of the many ways in Mandarin to refer to human excrements. Also can be called 'fen pian' in a more polite way, or 'si' (which has the same pronunciation as 'death' in Mandarin).

Life's like that, mine not excluding. But maybe mine doesn't stink as much as some others do, but in a way it is crappy to me. Maybe I'm just too cynical towards the rest of the world around me, or maybe I'm just too bored. Or maybe both.

My social life is like that (I enjoyed my time with my close buddies, but I have problems dealing with strangers).

My health is like that (couple of years of abusing my health really show).

My classes are like that (perhaps just me, but it seems that my juniors are not getting any better).

My apartment unit is like that (apart from those 2 monkeys from Africa who made loads of noise EVERY FREAKING TIME, there's the lift which kept breaking down, water leaking and stuck toilet...).

My internet connection is like that (half the reason why I'm kinda lazy to update the blog nowadays).

My mood is like that (and this, honestly, I don't know exactly why, or perhaps too many reasons why).

Crap.

Good thing I still have a few things to keep my sanity in check. Like my DS, my phone and my PC. If not for those, I'd be doing something really mean.

Ah hell.

As I write this, I'm attempting to charge up the battery on the made-in-China LED torchlight my father just bought for me. Though I don't really need the use of such a torch, but he insisted I bring it over to the apartment 'for emergency purposes'.

And the design is, as my post here best describe, crap. It was so poorly designed that it couldn't be mounted in a stable position while recharging from a socket. It kept falling off the convert-from-China-powerplug-to-universal-powerplug thing.

And just a moment ago I thought I might've just caused something in the torch to burn in the process, because I didn't notice the torch's switch was triggered to 'ON' when I placed the battery to charge.

Adding that and the loose mounting, and suddenly 'SNAP', the lights just went on and off. Thought I smell something stinging too. And now I think the torch is dead. Can't get the lights to work even if I switch on.

Opened up inside to investigate. Can't see anything that's wrong, nor anything black from burning. In fact, the design of the whole thing was so simple that I begin to doubt whether it's worth the money spent on it. A bulk rechargable battery connecting to a simple switch connecting to a circuit board with 3 LEDs and 3 resistors. Looks too simple that I begin to doubt the safety in the design.

Still not working. There goes RM 15.90. What a piece of crap. Well, better that thing dead than ME being dead. I don't want my father to blame himself for buying me that crap hazard he thought he got as a good bargain.

Copycat

2009-03-20T03:14:00.004+08:00

I'm not really the type of person to be a high-scorer or so when it comes to papers, but I still could manage most of the questions that were thrown to me (provided that I, of course, have ample preparations beforehand).

And I strongly believe that whenever it comes to doing things, it's either you do it with all your effort, or you totally do not do it at all. Plagiarism hardly is an option to me, and as a matter of fact, I really do hate it when someone else that does not put any effort into himself copying my efforts.

Meet this certain guy U. Encountered him in the subject I'm taking this semester, and while I had the oppurtunity to point him his mistakes in the tutorial sessions, but it appears that this U person seems to have misunderstood my gesture as a sign that I am willing to help him pass the subject, by any means.

Well, I noticed his odd behaviour when the time came for the big quiz. I was sitting right at the back of the class that day, and said guy was sitting directly in front of me. And it was when I finished my paper that I caught him turning his back trying to fish the answers off my page.

Oh no you don't, as I thought while I quickly withdrew my already-completed paper from the table and submit it up to the lecturer.

But at that moment, I knew exactly that this will not be the last time that he will try to steal from me. The following week I just pretend that I did not notice his peekings and continued on helping him in the tutorials. Not in the mood to be giving him a big payback for his wrongdoings, but rather I would prefer to spectate him crumble by himself with his pathetic measures.

I managed to score 5/5 on that paper (despite I nearly got my answer wrong due to poor handwriting). And I managed to spy on that U's marks, and he only got 3/5. Oops. Adding to the irony, his friend in the same class also scored full.

Then the mid-term paper for the subject came this week. This time the venue had changed to a different lecture hall, and this time I secured a sitting place in the most front row (as the culture around here goes, the front row seats are extremely unpopular among the students because you will get the lecturer's flak firsthand most of the time). Yeah, the whole row was empty, until...

Not surprisingly, Mr. U and his friend. Gee, I wonder why?

Now that our sitting positions were somewhat more distant compared to during the quiz, and with me putting up extra measures while answering my paper, he couldn't even get a chance to sneak on my paper at all.

The fun part was that, the moment he caught his first chance to turn his head to spy on my answers, it was the exact moment that I had finished answering my paper, and I just turned my paper 180 degrees, with the top facing me and the bottom facing the front. And within the minute, the lecturer had already started to collect the papers of those who had already finished, and I handed mine up immediately. Awwww.

Sorry to say to this Mr. U, but just because I am generous to help at a chance given, doesn't mean I should risk my neck and let him go the easy way. Things in life are earned via hardships, and he will have a very long way to go.

THIS IS MY-UNIT !!!

2009-03-13T15:03:00.005+08:00

Well, about time to do that now. When tenants start to show signs of disrespect against the owner of the premise, it'd be the best cue to tell them to GTFO.

If things go on smoothly, those creeps should be gone around June this year. Let's hope for the best to come.

And oh, probably need to motivate myself a little more to paint more crap out...

'Traffic' Jam

2009-02-27T12:45:00.007+08:00

3 times in a week. At this rate, I'd grow a beard and bump bricks with my head to get coins and weed.

Can't exactly point who it is, but there had been hints that it could be my foreign housemate(s) staying downstairs. What was done to the toilet to make it jam was beyond our imagination.

To add some extra flavour of horror, one of the times I found ash-green-coloured stools floating on top of the clogged water.

Yeap. This colour.

Seriously, what do they eat for a living to have this sort of alien stool ???

Ah well, they're gonna leave early next month, so hopefully along with plans to get someone to service the bown, the cloggings will stop.

WARRRRR

2009-02-20T01:55:00.003+08:00

Yes. Enough is ENOUGH. I had enough of that particular African housemate of mine now.

I am going to drive him out, since :-

- he's not listening to what I've said to him and took heed
- he's being a dirty jerk for leaving laundry in the machine and garbage in the bin to ROT, and walking into the bathroom with his dirty-soled sandals
- he's not paying up the remainder of his rent, and his 'will pay tomorrow' never arrives at all after how many tomorrows
- and especially since THIS IS MAHHHH APARTMENT !!!

Practically his conduct is a DECLARATION of WAR against ME. And unfortunately I'm not the type to be willing to spare my enemies if there's no advantage for me to.

Dad wouldn't be pleased with my rallying (well I'm driving away the customer durrrr), but I don't care. When I want a person out, he's going to get out, one way or another, especially if it's FOR THE GREATER GOOD.

Mark my word - February 2009 is his FINAL month staying here. I will not allow him to stay in next month nor the future, even if my parents were to lament that there will be no one to take over the room. Absolutely - NO - Mercy.

Our Dear Dragonborn Paladin's Most Glorious Moment

2009-02-18T23:08:00.006+08:00

And today's guest - from our awesome Warlock's point of view :-

Yes, he was hiding *UNDER* the canteen table healing himself. A Paladin doing that while the rest of us are doing the ferocious fighting. BRILLIANT.

Also memorable quotes from said Paladin :-

"You goblins are pissing me off ! You've shamed my kind !"

"I'm so going to one-shot kill them with my Dragonborn Breath !"

YAY Finally !!!

2009-02-15T21:53:00.004+08:00

Yeah. Finally I drew legs. Very ugly ones, to add. Been wanting to draw them since I've always been drawing upper part of the body but not the lower.

Though actually, the 'finally' part in this post was for something else. Something that has a greater value and impact to my life (and quite costing for me too). But it's all worth the wait. :D

Huhuhuhuhu.

Stuff Dying

2009-02-12T17:32:00.004+08:00

As the saying goes, bad things don't come to you alone.

First, it was my phone starting to show it's telltale time by giving me the 'Insert SIM card' message and kept barring me from using it. Gonna replace the phone this coming March.

Then, it was my PC telling me that my HDD (containing my song collections, PAIN) had corrupted files and directories. And running the CHKDSK had me unable to use the PC for a full 16 hours. Lost a few songs and files in the process, but fortunately I could get them back easily.

Next, the plastic placeholder for the motherboard's cooling fan broke again. Again as in, one of the clamping parts broke the last time and I had it held together with super glue. And now make that two clamping parts. Damn oxidising.

When it comes to electronical stuff, they seem to breakdown together in the same time on me. Blehh. Hopefully nothing else breaks this week.

Level Up !

2009-02-08T20:12:00.004+08:00

Yeah. Needless to say another year had passed.

And supposed to post up something yesterday yet could not as I have a busy day that's quite interesting to be. Wahaha.

Though nothing much to talk about for now, nor anything to inspire my hands for any ugly art. In actuality, still cropping for writing material.

So yeah. Next post should be up in the next day or something. Until then.

Back

2009-02-04T12:12:00.006+08:00

Already returned 4 days ago to my daily life (and PC), but somehow coming back to scribble and write here kept slipping off my mind. Probabaly because I was too obsessed with the festival, especially the food. Mwahaha.

And I was away for *that* long because I went to Muar for a day to meet my relatives for the 1st day of CNY, then next spent almost a whole week in Singapore to visit my elder sister. To be exact, 6 days and 14 hours. Been a while since I made a long stay there, and it made me feel good.

Well all about all, wandering around 1 day + 1 week + 4 days later, I'm back to this spot again, having to deal with the daily troubles again. Feels funny that all that time previously felt as if they were a TV show or something.

Ah well. For all the best of the Ox year peeps. Here's another ugly scribble to make up for the lack of it.

CNY 2009 - The Ox Year

2009-01-25T00:38:00.005+08:00

The season again.

No intention to elaborate too much about what's going on recently, as I'm kinda exhausted now and wanna save everything for later. So here's an ugly attempt of mine to put up a character 'spring' in a twisted way here.

And gonna be having a week trip to the south in 5 hours time. So this blog will be sleeping until then.

Ennui at it's best

2009-01-19T01:14:00.008+08:00

Life is at it's best when you don't feel like doing anything at all.

Well, at least I felt it that way for now. I had nothing better to do for the past 3 days except to help around the house a bit while some of my family went for a short trip, and lazing as usual. And as a bonus the house was more quiet that usual for the past 3 days. Mental peace.

Which led me to being uninspired and unmotivated, and can't think up of something to scribble, including today as well. Only scooped this up because I want to coax myself to sleep but have to get rid of the pre-slumber ennui clogging up within me.

So yeah.

And to think of it, Year of the Ox is coming over in a week's time, by which starting that time I'm gonna be out of this country for a week to meet my sister in Singapore.

......

Which also means a week without my PC, and my songs and Foobar2k 9.6.1 player with a new layout I configured myself to be more streamlined than the previous one I had. Rats. At the end of the Rat year.

On the bright side I get to see S'pore again, but being a hermit for one week on the not-so-bright side. Ah well, can't have everything in life.

All Out Gunsblazing

2009-01-16T01:45:00.004+08:00

Almost all the fans of gun-related themes out there share the same dream - to one day dual-wield pistols in the most badass fashion, blasting the hell out of everyone and everything.

Blam blam blam blam, finishing off the rounds in your clip, release both the pistol's magazines, rapid reload, blam blam blam blam. Awesome.

Seeking to fulfill my own personal hunger to achieve this, I found my oppurtunity in the least stylish means - in the arcade. That's right, the arcade's lightgun shooter machines. Well of course to achieve my objective, I had to play it alone in the 2 player mode, which also means double the credits for it.

First time I tried it, it was on The House of the Dead 2. I only managed to survive with 2 hands until the first swarm of those monster leeches, and then I died before I could even reach the first boss.

Not awesome.

It isn't as easy as how it looks like. For one I have to coordinate both hands, for another I had to make sure both pistols still have ammunition to fire, and the most painful part was that I have to kill the enemies fast enough before they could kill me, a deadly on-a-spot-reaction challenge to which I sucked at the most. At times I wished I was playing Time Crisis instead because I can take cover in it.

Well, this experience was quite frustrating in a way, so I didn't indulge myself into this dual-wielding experience too much after that. Then the THOTD2 machine in that particular arcade was removed, and the only shooter machine I could do the dual wield on was that outrageous Ninja Assault machine. Still find the idea of Ninjas with pistols hard to swallow.

Ah well. Guess it will be some time after before I get to play dual-wield again.

Traffic Culture 01

2009-01-13T20:59:00.004+08:00

Sounds familiar?

I believe this happens frequently all across the world. Yeah it sure saves you maybe about 10 minutes, but that 10 minutes can change a lot.

- You just taught your child at the back (if any) why is it worth it to not invest in this thing called patience, and thus in the future they can choose to dump the already old and senile you into some old folk's home to save their 10 minutes worth of time. You aren't even worth 10 minutes, they probably think.

- You might get back home early to find your spouse, who had expected your timing to come back in around 10 minutes later, cheating on you with the milkman.

- Blue car in front suddenly brakes for the fun of it, causing you to crash into his rear and you have to pay up because you rammed into his rear, saving the red car the agony of being the scapegoat. Well, this is how it works here in my country, at least.

- You saved yourself the agony of detonating your explosive diarrhea in your car, making to the toilet bowl in time. But turns out that guy in red car was a stalker robber in disguise waiting for unsuspecting targets like you who ignored traffic, and he followed you to your house and break into it. And you watch (or to be exact, listening while in the most awkward position) helplessly as you hear the bangs and cracks and the shiftings of your valuables in the house, and there's nothing you can do except getting stuck on your toilet bowl with your rear explosions.

That 10 minutes can really mean a lot. Please drive safe, and drive smart.

What I find lacking and disturbing...

2009-01-12T02:16:00.000+08:00

... maybe isn't that much to be significant, but it sure could've made my life less difficult if I don't lack of these little things.

Like, for instance :-

- the lack of HDD space in my PC (music and not porn, I will say it's porn when I say so)
- the lack of RAM in my PC (geez it's related to my PC again)
- the lack of stuff to do during the 3-week break (honestly there's almost nothing for me to do except spring-cleaning, bleh)
- the lack of material to scribble (which is the sole reason why I haven't been updating the blog for the past couple of days)
- and the lack of many more, that would've made my life less difficult (like money, money can be anything)

Though the lack of a love partner doesn't bug me much, to my chagrin it's just the people around me nagging about 'When you getting a GF' that adds up to a sum of annoyance. But this time that's not going to bother me as well, as I always have the best shield for all types of arrows - DIVINE GUIDANCE.

Pretty much what I got from the joss stick prediction I took from the Thien Hou temple, in the relationship section. Originally I had the intent to ask about my progress in my dropping-back studies (which was quite a decent reply - don't look back and keep moving forward, heh), but I scored an extra bonus for an extension in my single life on the same sheet of pink paper. Hurrah for the deities !!!

Of course, it doesn't work that way in this mostly-scientific-oriented world. But since there are people who even had blind faith in certain aspects (notably religious), so why not make use of it?

So at least I get to do more stuff that only a single can do a little more longer. Stuff like more gaming time, more freedom to look at the people around without having to suffer a glare of potential jealousy from my side, and - albeit requiring a thick face to do so due to my age but - at least I still can go around and receive some 'ang pau' (red packets for blessing in case you never heard of) around the place.

It isn't really that bad with what I'm lacking, except now that I'm a little hungry (early dining hours at 7pm causes me to kinda have the urge for supper), and maybe that now due to late sleeping hours I'm going to find myself having a lack of sleep for the next day. Guess that's really enough for me here.

RAAAAGE

2009-01-07T21:25:00.000+08:00

Today was supposed to be kinda like this. Yeah, at least half of it was this most unproductive way of wasting time.

But bad things love to keep people in company, especially on the responsibility part. Hell no, before my great slumber and after it, there are always reasons to go RAGE.

Though honestly, sometimes I gotta admit that having to get angry over certain stuff makes me more awake. I'm by default a lazy person, thus the lack of adrenaline flow made me somewhat a reserved person. But if anything gets to my bad side, I will end up what a normal person will react when provoked - turn GREEN.

Well, scribble's ugly I know, but in my mind, no angry face is a pretty face. Unless you are the type who prefers the 'tsundere' type.

And as fast as my temper rises, it goes really fast too. 10 minutes ago I was in a mood to crush the neck of some unsuspecting passerby, but now after some drawing and writing in here, I almost forgot the reason why I raged in the first place.

Wait, why was I angry again?

......

Never mind. Ah well.

HELL YEAH !!!

2009-01-06T14:30:00.000+08:00

I'm done with my papers. OSSU !!!

My first thing to do as a celebration - SLEEP. I definitely didn't had enough this morning, and ended up oversleeping this morning (I woke up at 9.02 am, 2 minutes after the paper starts......).

I can now forget the reason why I raged in the examination hall too - students making noise despite the invigilator 'requesting' the students to remain silent after the paper because there are students in the other part of the hall still having their papers. I hate it when others never placed in their mind the risk of doing things that will drag the others down, especially when there is a risk that the invigilator will announce our papers as invalid.

Now that I had everything in this semester done (including meeting my advisor early, since I managed to make an appointment with her after the papers), I have more room to plan out my next semester now. Academics and activities blah blah blah.

Mmm. Wonderful day for me today.

Yeah, so I started this rolling.

2009-01-05T17:03:00.001+08:00

As a means of self-deprecating amusement, for my own. That and sometimes it helps to lessen the burden of my words if I scribble the graphical parts out.

My drawing sucks horribly, given that I am somewhat a little of a critic of everything myself. I know what's wrong with a drawing when I see it, and ironically mine's one of the worst I've ever seen out there.

Even though it was compulsory for me to take art classes during my elementary and junior high years, and also added the fact that for a short period of time in my elementary school life I took extra art classes, but somehow I still cannot bring out my sense of art through my hands. Nuh uh, my hands are just too clumsy to draw a Picasso, that's what I thought.

But meh, that doesn't stop me from showing off my ugly workings on MS Paint. I know a lot of artists out there shun this little program because it's kinda primitive to stuff like Photoshop, but given that I'm no art maestro, thus MS Paint is good enough for the likes of me who sees scribbling this type of kiddy art as a means of fun.

I hope I can keep onto this little newfound fad of mine. I may not be very persistent in a lot of things, but if it's fun, I will always come back for more.